I forgive you-- confess your sins to Jesus, turn from them, ask Him into your heart, and you will be saved-- going to heaven forever, and He will guide you, and love you like no other, in your life -- Get a Bible- read the book of John to get to know Him better, and then as you read your Bible, study it, and use it to keep you on the right path. I hope something great can come out of this-- find a Church -- non denominational if possible - not Catholic or Mormons, or Jehovah Witnesses -their religion is dead. Protestant and non denominational preach the truth--be around people who truly love you . God bless 🌻