I discovered Lisa via her U-Tube channel, I'm not a student currently however, her Life Coach informative teachings has helped me tremendously understanding, accepting, recovery and healing from a five year relationship with a female narcissist. I have written a paper relating to my journey with an abusive woman from 2019 until 2024. Ladies, please don't miss-understand. I adore woman, I'm an empathetic personality. I will share my story here: DEFINITION: A narcissist is someone who has an exaggerated sense of self-importance and entitlement, and has difficulty recognizing the needs of others. Narcissism can be viewed as the epitome of sin, as individuals choose to be their own gods, seeking self- worship ands control. The book of Proverbs addresses this concept by referring to narcissistic behaviors as foolishness. The fool makes their own rules, scoffs at rebuke, and disregards the harm their actions may cause. Some signs of a narcissistic personality include: Arrogance: is the belief that one is superior or more important than others, and is characterized by unpleasant behavior towards others. Someone who is arrogant behaves in a proud, unpleasant way toward other people because they believe that they are more important than others. Lack of empathy: has an impaired ability to understand and relate to the feelings of others. Criticizing others for their emotions or blaming them for their experiences. Not realizing or not feeling remorseful about how their actions impact others. Exploitative: may use people to get what they want. Someone or something that selfishly takes advantage of someone or a group of people in order to profit from them or otherwise benefit. Manipulative: may use manipulation to maintain their perceived superiority. When a person uses controlling and harmful behaviors to avoid responsibility, conceal their true intentions, or cause doubt and confusion. Manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting, lying, blaming, criticizing, and shaming, can damage a person's psychological well-being. Grandiose fantasies: may have fantasies of success, power, or brilliance. Envy: may be envious of others and believe others are envious of her. Need for admiration: may have an excessive need for admiration and special treatment. Difficulty controlling emotions: may have difficulty controlling emotions like rage or jealousy. Inability to recognize boundaries: may have difficulty recognizing boundaries. Psychological theories about narcissism suggest that the narcissistic person uses defense mechanisms to idealize self so that they do not have to face their own mistakes (sin) or flaws (fallen state). The diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder outlines the behavior patterns of a narcissistic person as being haughty, non-empathetic, manipulative, and envious; also possesses a sense of entitlement and grandiosity. From a biblical perspective, it is clear that these heart conditions are due to pride, which is sin (Proverbs 16:18). The Bible tells us to “look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4). The narcissist routinely disobeys this command. MY JOURNEY WITH AN ABUSIVE WOMAN: 2019-2024 In my experience, I opened my heart and house to this individual. I cared for her, her family and grandchildren. After the first year, the abuse began to slowly become apparent, and increased over time. This woman constantly used cruel tactics to devalue, vilify, manipulate, destroy and break down my character. She specialized in degrading me in most hurtful ways. I was disrespected by a woman who is a Wolfe in Sheep skin. She traumatized myself, my adult children and many other innocent individuals. No empathy or regard for anyone or their feelings. This woman is toxic, I had asked her to leave three times over the five year period. Once I detached and remained silent to avoid her manipulative abusive behavior, the disgusting unhinged malicious behavior went off the charts and evolved into physical violence. I addressed her relating to the behavior, and the physical violence. I made it clear that no one should ever raise a hand in violence in a relationship. Two months prior to the breakup I stated to her the following: “ This relationship is broken, we need to resolve the resentment”. Her continuous abusive behavior demonstrated no interest in digging deep and addressing the problems. The manipulation continued, constantly and brutally attacking emotionally, mentally, and all narratives were flipped and blame shifted on myself. Her goal was to destroy me and use her delusions to gain attention and turn all against me. No matter of her behavior, never once admitted, owned accountability or apologized for her delusional actions. I firmly believe that any individual that constantly accuses a partner of wrong doing are actually projecting their own behavior and deflecting their guilt to avoid having to face their own actions and insecurities. I’m an empathetic personality therefore I was target, this individual’s constant tormenting, taunting, shaming and devaluing was specifically designed to provoke emotional reaction to feed the narcissist supply. The end result would be her flipping the narrative and blame upon myself. During the course of the five years the abusive manipulation, and stress took its toll on me physically. My body was soaking in Cortisol. I ended up in the hospital due to the stress. Ultimately, I felt distain for this individual and no longer could give of myself. This individual’s behavior was so disrespectful, my only defense was silence and disengagement. After five years, I looked her in the eye and stated, YOU AND I ARE OVER. She moved out the next week because she knew, I handed her behavior back to her. She called out for no contact, I firmly believe that this behavior is her way of punishment and a last desperation to hold on to power because I took her depleting power away. There are many details of her destructive, manipulative betrayal that are not mentioned here however, they have been exposed by her own actions and individuals that are trusted and have my best interest at heart. There is no need for me to defend my character, nor worry about what people think. Her insecurities and toxic behavior is on her. I have forgave to release myself from the abuse I have endured over the last five years. Myself reflection and accountability will allow God to guide me to recovery and ensure a much brighter future. The last day she was in my home, I apologized to her for the situation, hugged her and showed respect. The reply I received in return was: “ I don’t even know what to say right now”. This individual exposed herself, through very selfish immature psychological abusive behavior. The facade is fake, the mask is off, and self destruction shall be her own. In closing, she is never wrong, always the victim, and never apologized for her destructive, abusive toxic behavior and fabricated delusional lies. In addition, the innocent individuals that her actions caused malevolence through arrogance. I am now focused on self-improvement and healing. Know the signs, know your worth, be confident, never accept anything less than you deserve. Silence is the key to survival, it’s not meant to be cruel however, the narcissistic personality does not understand normal rational reasoning. Silence is my “PEACE” and sends clear communication to the abuser, I know longer will tolerate your disrespect, there will be no reactive narcissistic supply. I am 63 years old, the narrative noted above is the truth and the behavior I endured. The best thing I did for myself, was to forgive to let go of the abuse. I now am finally free of the abuser, and the toxic drama and shaming. I hope my humility and sharing my story can help individuals caught in the web of narcissistic relationships. Thanks goes out to Lisa A. Romano