Cold called on day off and got to have some fun wasting their time. It can't possibly get any better than their offer to preemptively reimburse me for the Ontario Fake Program Carbon Rebate™ for an irresistible sum of $88.05. I can tell you that it took every ounce of my willpower to resist giving them my bank account details... In the end, they wouldn't agree to mail me a cheque, and insisted on a direct transfer, but I declined their offer and told them to instead commit suicide. Worth noting that I do not live in a standalone house, but a 20-storey apartment block instead - multiple references to absurd numbers of air conditioners, furnaces, and water heaters were somehow missed by the imbecile paid to try and steal from me. All the better, I love wasting these wretches time. *Italian mwah kiss*