The Lonely Lady Reviews

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She's determined to take nothing less than everything Hollywood has to offer.Golden Globe winner Pia Zadora* burns up the screen in The Lonely Lady, the sizzling 1983 adaptation of the bestselling novel by Harold Robbins.Jerilee Randall (Zadora) is a beautiful, idealistic, and talented writer with ambitions of making it big as a screenwriter. But as she makes her way up the Hollywood food chain, she discovers that underneath the movie business' glittering façade is a whirlwind of drugs, depravity, and broken dreams. Struggling to hold onto all she holds dear, she soon descends into a desperate battle to maintain her own sanity.Also starring Lloyd Bochner, Bibi Besch, and Ray Liotta, The Lonely Lady is a tawdry and tantalizing tale of glamour, betrayal, and passion.*New Star Of The Year, Butterfly (1981)

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“Yes, why have we had to wait almost 34 years to see THE LONELY LADY as it played on cinema screens during its cruelly brief Universal theatrical release? Only 1983's most depraved trash-film degenerate whose sense of camp was so finely tuned that the combo of Pia Zadora plus Harold Robbins set off an alarm-bell that sent them flitting, without hesitation, to the nearest multiplex, earned the privilege of experiencing on the big screen a motion picture that's been called "a baby VALLEY OF THE DOLLS", "the funniest trainwreck ever lensed", "Pia Zadora's most shocking role", and "the SHOWGIRLS of the Eighties". An even smaller segment of the initial LL audience stumbled upon their life-changing movie ticket through magical good fortune. In my case, it was a doubly mystical milestone. Eager to show off San Juan's remaining movie palaces to her precocious, film-crazed tween granddaughter visiting from NYC, my Puerto Rican grandmother selection of THE LONELY LADY (billed as La Dama Solitaria, with Spanish subtitles) not only left an indelible impression as the filthiest, most lurid motion picture I'd ever seen, it opened up a literary world of riveting, highly educational, frequently pornographic sagas euphemistically known as "beach books" which ensured I was completely corrupted a good 18 months before my first period showed up. Abuela, you see, had chosen this film because she'd read the Robbins novel, she told me on the taxi-ride home, sending me straight to the library of their villa, to a collection of paperbacks, all in English -- which I'm now convinced was to keep them off my prudish Mass-daily-grandfather's radar -- which my saintly, beloved, closet-freak Abuela had been quietly enjoying in plain sight as long as I could remember: in addition to the brilliant Mr Robbins (The Adventurers, The Betsy, 79 Park Avenue), during my early teen years I discovered the best of Jackie Collins (Hollywood Wives, The Stud, The Bitch, Lovers & Gamblers), Judith Gould (Sins), Sidney Sheldon (The Other Side of Midnight, Bloodline), Sally Beauman (Destiny, possibly THE filthiest) and of course Jackie Susann (Valley of the Dolls). As much as I cherish all of the above masterworks, only one spawned a movie in which Pia loses her virginity to a garden-hose wielded by Ray Liotta. And now, thanks to Shout Factory's gorgeous Blu Ray, the first time this cult essential has been available on home video since the days of VHS, a whole new generation of thrill-seeking tweens can start learning everything their parents won't tell them and be better prepared for the Hollywood careers so many have already chosen. TOP 10 THINGS ABOUT THE LONELY LADY, NOW ON BLU RAY FROM SHOUT FACTORY 10. Soundtrack includes Pia's cover of "The Clapping Song". 9. The bizarre and inappropriate Eurotrash accents of so many bit players in a story set entirely in the San Fernando Valley, Hollywood & Beverly Hills. 8. Pia's brilliant writer character is named JeriLee Randall. 7. JeriLee's attempt to get her indecently too-old, impotent and obscenely hairy-backed husband hard by cooing "Gently, gently". 6. Instead of the luscious bi-sexy babes you see on Cinemax, the lesbos are all repulsive predatory gargoyles, like the long-breasted bikini-clad matron in the hot tub who purrs the horrendously looped pick-up line "It's wonderfully relaxing!" 5. The lesbian Italian movie star (who tricks JeriLee into a threesome with her toad of a husband) is cross-eyed, but her nipples point in different directions. 4. Post-threesome, JeriLee is so disgusted with herself she showers with her clothes on and promptly suffers a nervous breakdown. 3. That same nervous breakdown scene, in which the keys of JeriLee's typewriter become the faces of her tormentors, before rising from the keyboard into a swirl of mocking sound-bytes and cheesy shattering optical effects. 2. The Blu Ray's bonus Network TV version of the film features an extended typewriter-mad-scene and other unique bits to make up for the absence of the eight nude sex scenes Pia dutifully performed. 1. Finally, a cautionary tale that dares to expose Hollywood's most sordid secret: Everybody wants to f*ck the writer!”

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Posted 7 years ago

“In terms of celebrity vehicle train wrecks, this is the reason why I'm giving it five stars. If a love of sudsy, over-the-top melodramas is "more your KICK", this is the one that all others should be compared to. As young screenwriter Jerilee Randall, PIA ZADORA takes on all comers in a film that puts her through her paces, combating every slime and sleaze that Central Casting can throw at her, while "effing" her way to the top as Hollywood demands most ingenues do. Director Peter Sasdy seems to have left her to her own devices, while focusing on an amazing supporting cast that includes Lloyd Bochner, Bibi Besch, Jared Martin, and in his first major film role, Ray Liotta! Best of all is the interview with Pia included in the extras, where she surprises by having a much more self-deprecating and pragmatic take on the movie than you would expect! As much of a wallow in Tinseltown excess as the Harold Robbins novel that gave it life, THE LONELY LADY is one that fans of cult films should NOT miss!”