Bro, do not sign up for this credit card. My name is Alice, and this is my story. I. THE GREAT MISTAKE It was a crisp autumn afternoon when my $300 laptop fizzled out with a blue screen of death the day before my 44-page deadline. I needed a laptop, and I needed it in 5 minutes. I was relieved to remember the existence of brick-and-mortar stores where you can get anything on demand, so I drove to Best Buy, annoyed by the inconvenience but excited at the prospect of getting new things. I only had about $500 of flexibility in my budget, so I set my standards low. There were, like, three laptops in that price range. All of them were gray, clunky, archaically slow, and would probably konk out after one "Full Discography" download from Limewire. Then I saw her. The most beautiful device I'd ever seen. I needed to have her. I wanted to know her. I craved for her smooth crevices, her crisp keys, her sleek folio, and elegant flat finish to be something I knew every day, touched every day, and understood most intimately to the point that our relationship calcified into effortlessly utilitarian. I wanted to have something this beautiful and take it for granted. Could I be the kind of person that owns this laptop? My budget and the rare whispering angels of better business sense which value surviving, feeding myself, and sleeping under a roof said that that's a hard no. But my aspirational self, the part deep down inside of me that dreams, told me that I /am/ that bad b--- of my dreams already. I can embody elegance, success, and cutthroat efficiency; I can be the girl in the Cake song who's trading her MG for a white Chrysler Lebaron. I can own uninterrupted prosperity, and use my machete to cut through red tape. That machete was a promotional financing credit card loan from Best Buy/Citibank. Seduced by these mad visions, I was all-too susceptible when a glossy advertisement enticed me, murmuring sweet nothings directly to my id: "The choice is yours every day with a Best Buy credit card." The choice WAS mine. Like a woman in love with a man who's unfaithful, I wanted to believed its promises; I didn’t care if they were lies. Like a glutton, I scrawled my signature frantically on 27 forms, frantic to do anything to get my fix. If you have legitimately ANY more common sense than me (which is a pretty low bar), please don't repeat my mistake. II. THE AFTERMATH The interest rate is robbery. The terms of credit are lengthy, complex, and unintelligible. After the "promotional period" (~11 months, long enough to lure you in and then ensure you totally forget it's temporary) your interest rate skyrockets from 3.99 to 26.49 percent. Late fees are exorbitant, and their justice is swift and cruel. I once made a payment at 10:00 pm on the due date, but it didn't process till morning, so I was charged $40 in late fees. X: One time I made my payment a few days in advance, but since it didn't process on the exact due date I was slapped with late fees again. They are bloodthirsty, merciless, and draconian in their layered deception, obfuscated red-letter laws, insurmountable labyrinths of inconvenience, pitiless penalties, and ruthlessly exacting methods. XX: One time, they called me at 11 a.m. on the literal day my payment was due, asking me why I hadn't paid it yet. ....It was 11 a.m. It was due *that* day. I had already scheduled a payment for the date, like, on time? XXX One time, I was (legitly this time) late paying my bill by a whole 5 days. They called me every day, at least four times a day, to tell me that I needed to pay up #orelse. It was borderline harassment; worse than those guys in college who tried to booty call you at 2 a.m. with 9 texts of "hey you up? answer me". It was legitimately stressful and exhausting; you felt like you were being attacked or something. Their debt collection practices are cruel. Their policies are inconsiderate. Their promotions are deceptive, malicious, and misleading. Their terms are ludicrously exorbitant. Their punishment is absolute. Pay off this card as soon as you can, on time, throw that predatory contract in the shredder, and bid this cruel parasite goodbye. III. THE END In the end, was it worth it? Yes. Absolutely. I love this laptop and have absolutely no sense of financial management. Was it a bad decision? 100 percent. But is Best Buy the winner here? No. Never. I am the girl in that Cake song with a short skirt and a long jacket; this laptop is my car with the cupholder armrests; and even if I had to crash and burn on my way to hell, at least I had a car that would get me there. EPILOGUE To read the rest of this review or to learn more about the Best Buy Credit Card, go to "wikipedia.org/wiki/Predatory_lending_defined" or check out "creditkarma.com/personal-loans/i/what-is-predatory-lending"