For over a week I've been engaged in what can only be described as a farcical exchange with the "Escalations Team". That's the "highly trained" cubicle monkeys DPD CEO Dwain McDonald uses to avoid having to deal with great unwashed. If you're unfamiliar I'll summarise. Prior to a delivery DPD send you an email. That email states that to avoid contact delivery, you should put a note on your door with instructions as to where to leave the package. All good, right? I mean, if you're isolating or shielding you want stuff left at the door & no contact. so this is a great move. I did that. A4 sign. Portait. Arial font. "Couriers & Deliveries. If there is no answer please leave packages here" There's a big arrow pointing to a corner spot on the floor. Idiot proof. Not DPD proof. The driver didn't leave the package. He did tear up a blank missed call card & stuff the bits through the door before buggering off. It would have taken less energy to just put the box down. DPD's communications are awful. Their "contact us" link leads to a "page not found" Their phone number is a kept on hold for hours nightmare waste of time & money. So, I tracked down Dwain's corporate email address & sent him a note. dwain at dpdgroup dot co dot uk. If you need it. He's the boss. Take it to the top & point out what his company has botched. Well. Dwain doesn't give a stuff. He has cubicle monkeys to sweep things under the carpet for him. Long story short, the depot & driver in an act of spiteful solidarity didn't even try to deliver my kit. They returned it to sender as "undeliverable" after not bothering to show for the second delivery slot they arranged. After a week of to & fro communications platitudes & excuses from trained cubicle monkey in Dwain's "Escalation Team" I today received the following excuse. "... the parcel was not left because the note was not left on the inside of the property." I'll give you a moment to draw that mental image of a DPD chap coming in, reading the note you left for them next to your hat stand, then going back out to leave the package behind the gnome gesturing suggestively at passers by. . Me? I'm thinking DPD clearly operate an army of international cat burglars & I stupidly should have put my note under one of those novelty magnets on the fridge and not on the front door. "Mindaugas" my driver could have left the package on the kitchen table having first fixed himself a lovely snack. Perhaps they have those calling cards like the fella in the old Milk Tray ads? Should we swoon when they get it right? Does that ever happen? The torn card was flatly denied. Of course. As for why they didn't show up for the 2nd delivery attempt or why they returned my package as undeliverable, that was not addressed in any way mean shape or form. It was simply ignored. I never expected the complaint process to go anywhere & had already spoken at length to the vendor shipping my goods with DPD, but this was even more of a farce than my imagination could conjure. Bottom line? A shambolically unprofessional company whose employees clearly feel empowered to treat recipients with disdain & disrespect in the full knowledge that they will face no repercussions whatsoever, whose communication is deliberately difficult to engage, whose complaints process is an exercise in whitewashing that yields nothing worthwhile, & whose CEO, Dwain McDonald, responds to no communications & clearly has no interest in how his employees behave as long as his tills go "kerching". In our "new normal" [hate that phrase] delivery companies will play an increasingly important part. Companies who behave like DPD have no business in this field. Pick another company. Never - EVER - DPD. Stop Dwain's "kerching". It's the only way to force him to take responsibility & get his staff to operate in a polite & professional manner.