Parcel Farce attempted to deliver an item to me a couple of days ago and left a note saying they would redeliver the next day. The next day instead of ringing the door bell they just left another note saying the parcel needed to be collected at a local depot. I rang to arrange redelivery and was met with one of the worst automated machines I have ever interacted with, I have what I would call an unrelenting "Received Pronunciation" accent that would put most BBC Newsreaders out of a job yet when I stated my address in Surrey it asked if my address was "Manchester Airport". After failing to arrange a redelivery this way I was finally passed onto a human who rescheduled the delivery for the next day. Obviously the parcel did not arrive the next day so I rang again. To the machines credit, after attempting to redeliver to Manchester Airport for a second time and putting me through to the Manchester office, a very friendly (and understandably confused) gentleman told me he would redirect me to the London office. Finally we're in the right half of the country. Again, the worlds most incompetent answering machine attempted to handle my query and by some miracle managed to navigate through my heavy Received Pronunciation accent and rescheduled the delivery for the next day. I have no idea what is in this parcel but I'm hoping to find out before I turn 100. Good luck to anyone whose speaking voice doesn't match the exact frequencies of Microsoft Sam if you ever miss a delivery, you're going to need it...